911 calls from 7/6-7/9

Monday, July 6
• 2:02 a.m. — A man called 911 and advised dispatchers that he is having difficulties with “withdrawals” and needed someone to come and “give him something.” When asked if he need an ambulance the man stated “No, I just need someone to come out and give me something for my withdrawals.” Dispatch gave the man the number for St. Luke’s Hospital.
Officers made contact with the male a little later and advised dispatch that he was “doing better.”
• 3:45 a.m. — A man called 911 and reported that there has been a “semi-truck idling for the past two hours” outside his residence. Optimus Prime, is that you? (That pithy joke goes out to Robert Deane — you Transformers loving fool!)
• 8:03 a.m. — A man reported to 911 that some renters moving out of his property took a “laser stove” and two space heaters with them to “Tennessee.”
• 11:06 a.m. — A man requested to speak with a deputy about pressing charges “against his uncle” who keeps “texting him” even though he’s been told to stop.

Tuesday, July 7
• 7:18 a.m. — A woman called 911 and reported a disturbance at the Cherry Hill apartments, advising that two friends are “fighting around” — adding that one is drunk and the other one isn’t.
• 10:52 a.m. — A woman called 911 and requested to speak to a deputy to report a vehicle accident that occurred “a year ago.” Way to be on that one lady, I’m sure they’ll catch ‘em.
• 1:44 p.m. — A Charlo man reported to 911 that his “ball point pens are missing.” Devious pen-stealing reporters are suspect in this case. Valley Journal, of course.
• 7:49 p.m. — A man requested an officer to the Cove in Polson as he just caught four young males “stealing money out of the tip jar” at the deli.

Wednesday, July 8
• 7:56 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that he has a hostile person inside “Cheers” who is refusing to leave? Lay off the sauce Norm, or Sam and Woody are gonna show you the door.
• 9 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that she has received some “harassing” phone calls entailing “farting noises and random cussing” left on her answering machine while she was sleeping last night, adding that she just got another one about an hour ago.

Thursday, July 9
• 7:35 a.m. — Police officers responded to a report of two cars driving on Highway 93 near Arlee “shooting fireworks out the windows at each other.” Now that my friend is what you call a redneck drive-by.
• 7:59 a.m. — A woman called 911 and advised that she is in “her 80’s” and received a bill from a company called Environmental Produce in Fairfield, N.J. for $109.90 for an “activator.” The woman stated that she did not even know what an “activator” is.

911 calls from 6/29-7/5

Monday, June 29
• 10:40 a.m. — A woman called 911 to advise that she brought a firecracker into the sheriff’s office and would like to speak to an officer in reference to the firecracker being “set off on her porch last night.”
Wednesday, July 1
• 8:31 p.m. — A Charlo woman reported to 911 that a lot of kids blowing off fireworks nearby are “scaring her pregnant kitty off.”
Thursday, July 2
• 7:42 a.m. — A woman called 911 and advised dispatchers that she is “fine” and “keeping the faith.”
Friday, July 3
• 4:05 a.m. — A woman reported to 911 that there is a woman at her residence that “they” would like removed as she came over and was “taking her clothes off in front of her husband.” Officers were unable to confirm whether the husband was as upset by the incident.
Saturday, July 4
• 9:22 a.m. — A woman reported to 911 that her neighbor is walking around his property “shooting gophers” with a BB gun and she was concerned that one of her kids playing in the yard might get ricocheted.
• 3:44 p.m. — A manager at Wal-Mart called 911 to report some individuals in a maroon Dodge pickup stealing one of the store’s outdoor picnic tables and loading it into the truck. Officers detained the men and returned the table unharmed.
• 5:48 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that there are “nude sunbathers” on the beach at Bear Dance State Park along Highway 35.
• 8:46 p.m. — A man called 911 “very hysterically” stating to dispatchers that somebody came and “destroyed all his trees.” The man suspected foulplay, as he advised that “goats were in with the trees.”
Sunday, July 5
• 4:51 a.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that his neighbor playing loud music all day and night is “ruining his life,” adding that if law enforcement didn’t do anything about it he would “take this issue to Helena.” I hear that issue is supposed to be a bipartisan talking point for the 2011 Montana legislative session.
• 9:56 p.m. — A man called 911 to report that there is a “big cat, black in color”, in a vacant lot across from the 1100 block of 8th Street in Polson. The reporting party didn’t believe the animal to be a mountain, “rather another big cat the size of a small husky.” At 10:16 p.m. Polson officers arrived on scene and got a visual on the animal — confirming it to be a mountain lion with a “four foot tail”, bedded down under the tree. While officers awaited the arrival of a rifle to shoot intruding animal, minutes later the cat slipped back behind the house and escaped.

911 calls from 6/21-6/28

Sunday, June 21
• 12:58 a.m. — A man called 911 and reported “loud music” coming from the area across from the vet clinic and wanted it “shut down.” The music turned out to be coming from Relay for Life.
• 1:19 a.m. — Another man reported the same “loud music” to 911 and was informed it was coming from the relay. How dare those cancer survivors and cancer cure advocates stay up all night for a cause?
• 2:17 a.m. — A Polson officer reported that there are some individuals out on horses in front of the Wolf Den. Turns out the horseriders were told it was not illegal to ride through town.
• 2:56 a.m. — An anonymous male advised 911 dispatchers that there is a man “showing marijuana out of a tackle box” at the Swan Tavern.
• 2:01 p.m. — An employee at 93 Sales reported to 911 that someone stole “four tires and the wheels off a pickup in his lot” in the middle of the night. The prime suspects: Local NASCAR pit crew members. Admit it, those guys are fast.
• 4:36 p.m. — A man reported finding another man passed out in his neighbor’s yard. The hung over trespasser was picked up and booked on an outstanding warrant.
• 10:18 p.m. — A man riding a bicycle in the Wal-Mart area reported seeing a bunch of people hanging around Wheat Montana, and when he came back there was “a large pile of rocks in the drive through area.”

Monday, June 22
• 10:11 a.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that there are three males drinking beer on the corner of Highway 93 and Main Street and one is “puking everywhere.” Little early for a Monday aint it?

Tuesday, June 23
• 2:20 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 she just witnessed a “skateboarder” throw a bike into the lake. Police made the skater retrieve the bicycle from the water.
• 6:05 p.m. — A man called 911 and reported that there is a “drunk male laying in the ditch with his pants down.” The man was advised by officers to stay home and stay off the street.
• 6:37 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 that there were some kids at the city docks “fighting and throwing animals in the water.” Evidently a boyfriend and girlfriend got into an argument and he threw her dog in the lake.

Wednesday, June 24
• 9:03 a.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that there is a man in a small white truck that is watching his neighbor’s house with a “telescope.”
• 3:53 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported the smell of a “dead body” coming a blue Volkswagen Jetta in the KwaTaqNuk dock area. A Polson officer opened the car’s trunk nearly half an hour later to find nothing but “clothes, papers, and trash.”
How exactly does one walk by a car, sniff, and go “Oh yeah, that’s a dead body”? Are you a CSI forensic sniffer? Some people are just dirty people, doesn’t mean they’re hauling around bodies in their trunks.

Thursday, June 25
• 8:19 a.m. — A man called 911 and advised that a semi truck hauling a huge backhoe has three flat tires and pieces of tires are “just flying everywhere.” The called added that the driver must know his tires are flat and “it’s just sick he’s letting the tire debris go everywhere.”
• 7:23 p.m. — An elderly woman called 911 three times to complain about her “electric bill.” She was told all three times to talk to the electric company.

Friday, June 26
• 3:49 a.m. — A Ronan office advised that an extremely intoxicated male just “urinated in the Town Pump parking lot.”

Saturday, June 27
• 12:21 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 that she was going out to her car and noticed a t-shirt thrown on the dumpster that was “soaked in blood and half burned.”

Sunday, June 28
• 6:11 p.m. — The same elderly woman from earlier called back to 911 requesting to know “how much it will cost to send a letter to Kalispell.”