Sunday, March 7, 2010

911 Calls for 2/20-3/2

Saturday, Feb. 20
- 6:33 a.m. – A Polson woman called 911 to report an act of littering as she found “a beer bottle” left on her steps after the tenants downstairs had been partying. The reporting party asked dispatchers what she should do with the evidence, and was told she could either “leave it there or be done with it.”

- 11:04 p.m. – A drunken pedestrian walking quite sloshed in the middle of traffic in downtown Polson was reported to 911 and subsequently picked up and cited for disorderly conduct.

Sunday, Feb. 21
- 1:26 a.m. – A bar fight that broke out at the Sports Page Bar was called into 911 with a request for an ambulance. One male took a trip to the hospital with a possible shattered nose and assault charges were reportedly filed in the incident.

- 4:32 p.m. – A Polson woman called 911 to tell dispatchers that she was approaching her one-year anniversary of “sobriety”, promising that she wouldn’t be walking around town at night or drinking “ever again.” No doubt this is a good thing…but when you have this kind of relationship with the good, patient people at the county’s emergency dispatch center my confidence in this oath is wavering to say the least.

- 7:24 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that a “drunk guy in his 20’s” driving a “loud, red van” pulled over off the highway and “urinated in her yard.” She added that when confronted, the sauced male got very “mouthy” with her, got back into the van and headed towards Ronan.

Tuesday, Feb. 23
- 3:36 a.m. – A Charlo area man reported to 911 that he could hear outside his house “young kids with flashlights” talking about how they wanted to “break-in and get some dessert to eat.” The reporting party told dispatchers that he is afraid of the possible treat thieves on his porch and did not want to confront them.
What I want to know is, if these dessert pirates are actually plotting to loot his fridge – which they’re not because they’re imaginary – what kind of dessert does this guy have in his kitchen that some whipper-snappers are on the verge of felony breaking-and-entering to get a taste of? Must be some good stuff right?

- 9:43 a.m. – A subject sleeping in a vehicle in the Dairy Queen parking lot was awakened by police officers and told to move along. My question is, getting kicked out on the couch is bad, but how low have things gotten for you if you’re sleeping in the DQ lot? I’m just saying man, either you can not wait to get a Blizzard ice cream treat for breakfast or you’re life is not going that great.

- 8:27 p.m. – A Polson woman advised 911 dispatchers that “something just flew into her kitchen.” The reporting party suspected it to be a “bat.” An officer was requested to do a drive-by at the 7th Avenue address.
As if the cops would show up and the bat would still be flapping around and the officers would flash a little badge action and say “c’mon now, move along now ya hear” and the bat would be like “okay, man okay – if you say so officers.”

- 11:51 p.m. – An anonymous party reported to 911 that a vehicle was parked sideways in the middle of the road at the intersection of Glover Road and Skyline Drive. Turns out a gentleman was passed out drunk behind the wheel. He was taken for a little ride downtown in the paddywagon on DUI charges.

Monday, March 1
- 12:53 p.m. – A certain “newly sober” female in the Polson area called 911 to advise dispatchers that she was indeed “fine” (just in case they were wondering how she was doing, I imagine) and she was just now moving into a downstairs apartment with “her cats.”

- 3:55 p.m. – A male resident on “Shady Lane” reported to 911 that his neighbor was “pumping water from a big pot hole into his other neighbor’s property.”

Tuesday, March 2
- 4 a.m. – A Polson woman reported to 911 that she witnessed a man “walking around wearing all black” and “swinging from a tree” near the Cherry Hill apartments at one point.
Okay, an innocent mistake on her part, it’s not her fault that she doesn’t realize the Polson Ninja Society has held weekly practices in that area every Tuesday morning at 4 a.m. for many years. And by Polson Ninja Society, I mean one drunk dude stumbling home from the South Shore who thinks he’s a ninja and can’t handle his Mondays very well. It’s an age-old tradition actually.